


Nonsense

by Hadontini



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-30 21:30:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10885311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hadontini/pseuds/Hadontini
Summary: When you turn 25, you freeze in age until you meet your soulmate.





	Nonsense

Life in the rebellion was busy. Busier than some could ever imagine. Depending on who you were and what you did there was a multitude of missions, tasks, and assignments given to you that took up a varying amount of your time. It was a sacrifice you were willing to make for the sake of doing what’s right. Growing up watching the Empire grow in power, crushing any resistance to their authority by oppressing those too weak to fight back; you had an obligation.

Sure some may have been in the fight for longer but that didn’t diminish your importance. Being a lower level officer within Rebel Intelligence forced you to meet and interact with so many people you knew you’d never be able to keep track of if you ever met them.

Them being your soulmate. The word made you cringe whenever you said it. The idea that someone out there in the world was the only person for you, connected for life? It sounded as ridiculous as an all powerful force connecting everything in the universe. You weren’t much for fairy tales and such nonsense, but being stuck at 25 for years made you have to at least, on some level, accept that the concept existed. Before you turned 25 you could ignore it, you knew people of varying ages, you still aged at the time, you could just pretend it didn’t really work the way people said it did.

So when you started to show little signs of aging you didn’t think much of it at first. Slowly your still youthful face gave way to something more mature and structured, but you thought, hey, maybe my weight’s just acting up, fluctuating weight does weird things to the body after all. But people started noticing, and commenting.

Someone would come back from a mission after a while of being gone, and they’d tell you that you looked different despite that you hadn’t changed a single thing about your appearance. Friends would eventually start telling you that you looked older, demanding to know who it was, why hadn’t you told them about it, why would you keep your soulmate a secret. They, quite literally didn’t believe you when you said you hadn’t met your soulmate. So they started to theorize who it could be on their own. You let them, it gave them something fun to do in a job with a rather large absence of fun or joy. But the truth was, you didn’t really notice until you visited family for the first time in years.

There was a calm in the constant storm the rebellion was fighting, and you traveled off world to see your family. Of course you had to run it about 5 times by your superior officer, and even then he was adamant that you keep in contact to ensure you’re safe. Of course they all came off as barking orders like you were some insubordinate leaving to slack off for a bit, but deep down you knew it’s just because the rough and harsh Cassian Andor cared. Less about you personally, you suspected, but for the rebellion as a whole.

You made it though, doors opened to people you haven’t seen in years, finding them happily aging with their long found soulmates. They greeted you, commenting on how hardened you looked from your off-planet job (you hadn’t told them you were apart of the rebellion, it was safer for them to keep them unbeknownst).

What struck you the most was how many of them commented on how old you looked. Not in an insulting way but more in a “Oh stars don’t they look so much older? Aging suits you, dear.” That’s when it begun to hit you. How did this work?

Did you meet your soulmate once and then the aging starts, or do you have to constantly be around them to keep ageing? Almost everyone seemed to agree on the latter, which worried you even more. How could you possibly have met your soulmate, and be around them enough to start aging again but not know who it is? Stars, did you feel dense.

Your apprehension about your aging became more prominent when you got back to Yavin 4. You became acutely aware of how you were with people and how they acted with you. You watched soulmates interact and wonder why they were in love so easily when you were left confused and alone.

Your direct superior noticed this the most. You became distracted more easily during meetings, senses not as sharp on missions, like your thoughts were elsewhere. Cassian wasn’t a man super in touch with sensitive emotions you thought, so you were shocked when he approached you directly one evening after a mission.

You were on your way to your quarters, in need of a good shower and a long nap when he called your name. Turning around you saw Cassian walking quickly to catch you, if you squinted it could be mistaken for a slight run. “Cass, what’s up?”

When you felt comfortable enough with him to start calling him Cass was beyond you. Why he let you call him that was even more beyond you but that wasn’t the point.

Cassian seemed to struggle with his words for a moment, looking down and around, hands gesturing vaguely in the air as if they themselves were grasping for the right thing to say. Eventually he looked up at you and just asked plain and simple, “What has you so distracted lately?”

Taken back a little, your mouth opened and closed a few times. Did you tell the truth? Probably not. That would be far too personal to tell Cassian, not to mention he’d probably ream you out for being so distracted by something as unimportant to the rebellion as someone you didn’t even know.

“It’s just,” Suddenly you found yourself mimicking the same grasping for words moment Cassian had just seconds earlier. “Doesn’t everything seem to be escalating lately? It’s like the whole galaxy is on edge, I mean even more than usual. It’s just worrying, I guess.” Cassian simply stared at you in silent contemplation. “I don’t know. It’s just a lot.”

You two just stared at eachother for a moment, and for that moment you found yourself really looking at him. His dark eyes holding so many emotions and thoughts you’d never gain access to, his hair still sweaty and clinging partially to his forehead, you found yourself yearning to push it away from his face all the sudden.

“And that’s it?” Cassian didn’t look like he believed you. “Because you seem awfully distracted every time you and I are on a mission together.”

You shrugged. “It’s just that, I swear.”

Cassian nodded, he still didn’t believe you, that much was obvious. His face still hard, features sharp and unrelaxed. Would he ever look relaxed?

You have one more curt nod, and turned away to continue back to your quarters. Cassian had apparently decided against letting you go though, you flipped around to look at his hand which was now grasping your arm. He felt so warm.

“If there was anything else going on, you’d tell me, right?” If it was at all possible he looked even more serious than before, but in a different way. He looked less firm, but more intense, his eyes softer as he looked at you. If you had all the time in the world, you could stare into them until you found stars. That’s when something hit you. As you were looking at him, it was the longest and closest you’ve ever been able to look at each other. You weren’t the only one that looked older. War has a way of aging people beyond their years, but he was aging in the same way you were.

He was physically aging. You didn’t quite know what to make of that information. It wasn’t your place to ask about it either. He was only asking about your personal life because it was keeping you from performing well in the field.

“Uhm..yeah, sure Cass. Of course.” Okay now he really didn’t believe you. 

His right eyebrow quirked up, a charming little smirk gracing his features. “For a rebel spy you aren’t a very good liar.”

You laughed a little at that. You reached your free arm up to run through your hair as you looked around for an excuse, not realizing Cassian hadn’t let go of his gentle grip on your arm.

“You’re a captain, maybe you should learn how to teach your subordinates better fibbing skills.” Your smirk bloomed into a full smile when Cassian laughed. A real laugh, such a rare sight on him. He looked handsome with a laugh.

“I wouldn’t exactly call you my subordinate,” Cassian said quietly, almost to himself. Your head moved to the side a little, eyes questioning him. His eyes met yours, wide and almost panicked for the briefest of moments before he cleared his throat and let go of your arm.

“I mean with how little you listen to my orders. A subordinate usually follows orders not disobeys them.” You laughed together this time. That felt even more natural than just watching him laugh.

You looked to the ground and took a deep breath before looking back up. “Well,” you began. “I should uhm, go take a shower. I’m long overdue.” You said gesturing to the dirt and grime that covered your arms and clothes.

“Yes, you are.” Your jaw dropped, but he continued. “I’m only kidding. You look beautiful.”

Your heart caught in your throat a little, face flushed, you really didn’t know what to say now. This is not how you imagined this conversation going, so you decided to end it before you could possibly say something to embarrass yourself.

Taking little steps back, Cassian got the hint, and started taking his own steps back. “Goodnight, Cassian.”

Walking away didn’t get you very far before Cassian called your name out, much lighter, and less serious that the first time. You turned half your body to look at him, and he was just standing in the middle of the hall, looking at you with a real smile on his face. “Yeah?” You said.

There was a beat as he paused, just looking at you, with a look that matched exactly how you had looked at him moments ago, the same look of adoration. “It looks good on you.” He said, pointing to your face. “Aging.”

You didn’t know if your heart was racing, or if it had stopped all together, but your mouth spoke before your brain had a chance to overthink it. “It looks good on you too.”

So the two of you just stood, in the hall, many feet away from each other just looking, smiling, admiring, before Cassian started to turn away. “Goodnight, (y/n).”

Watching him walk away, you could only theorize about exactly what had occurred just now.

But also, watching him walk away, you thought to yourself, this theorizing could be done in the shower. So you, again, took little steps back. “Goodnight, Cass.” You whispered into the silent air, before turning around fully, and walking to your quarters.

Maybe the universe wasn’t as full of nonsense as you originally thought.


End file.
